tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67094557842845234532024-02-08T10:14:16.831-08:00Phantom ScribesThe writings and mumblings of an average humanphantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-17461946795049434382020-03-06T06:08:00.005-08:002020-03-06T06:08:57.738-08:00Survive<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
It’s been a while, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Yet I don’t think it matters, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The cold night still comes,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The words are still lost, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The intent is no longer tenacious,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The once strong dream, divided, decimated, drowned and dead,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The once inspirational confusion now moot,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The once overwhelming passion now numb.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Disillusion isn’t the word,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
As death slowly creeps in,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
As the words simply fade away, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Into nothing, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
A nothing they were born to, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
A nothing where they resided, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
A nothing where they die to,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
A nothing for us all.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Yet the words still come, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Desperate expression,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Just to get it out, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Good old-fashioned catharsis,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Self-indulgent, angst ridden and true,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Pointless and deliberately so.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
None of it matters,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
None of it ever did,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
That’s almost a point in itself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
We just live,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Die,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Weep, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Mourn,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Survive,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Digest,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Kick on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-59856311156610457262014-12-22T02:53:00.001-08:002014-12-22T02:53:17.492-08:00Not me<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CUP7730%7E1.REG%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I can’t
do that,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My own
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The end
of a marriage,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The loss
of my father, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The loss
of my mother,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The
realisation that there is no other,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It was
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not me,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I wasn’t
going to take it sitting down,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Wasn’t
going to drown,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My
sorrows like before,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This was
it, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My chance
to even up the score,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I took
it,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Made a
decision, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Bold and
true,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I chose
me over you, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I wasn’t
going to take it anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not me,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I didn’t
think anything about that first moment,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I just
decided, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No more,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No more
excuses,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No more
pretending,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No more
tomorrow,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Today was
the day,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Is the
day,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And is
always the day,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Now is
now,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And I
made my choice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not how I
was, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But more
how I knew I should be,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I
challenged myself, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The more
they said I couldn’t, I shouldn’t, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I
wouldn’t… give up,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I went
out alone and made it happen,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I did it,
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I made
it,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I lived
it,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I live
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A better
version of me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">A higher
version of me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Me and
then some, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The light
came on and I saw it all,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">How it
should be,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No
restriction of my liberty,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">No
contradiction of me,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My mind
and me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Together
and better,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Fighting
my way out from under this misery, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Like a
sodden eiderdown,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Slapped
around my soul,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Smothering
my life out,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Like a
dying flame,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But no.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not Me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am
choosing the me I know is me,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not the
one they expected me to be,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Goodbye
and good luck,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I am lost
and found in one, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Like a
lost dog with a new home,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I was
never really alone, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I had me
in my corner and I was the best,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I never
knew it,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I almost
blew it but now,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Now I am
free, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Nothing
in my way, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The air
is like sweet Honeysuckle,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The light
like a wet dream,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">With
every new day that hugs me and kisses me like the love of my life,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The one I
haven’t met… Yet,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The
simple moments that make up now,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Making me
smile deeply like I am sublimely happy somehow,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And I am,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Not
questioning, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But
becoming, and doggedly, determinedly dreaming my own dream, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">With my
own beat drumming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Not me.</span><o:p></o:p>
phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-20468842700515962812014-12-22T02:02:00.002-08:002014-12-22T02:34:27.158-08:00Sometimes<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CUP7730%7E1.REG%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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Sometimes, </div>
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All you have to do is begin,<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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With no clue, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No path,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Nothing but the desire to start, <o:p></o:p></div>
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And the goal,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Just go,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Focus and believe,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ignore them all,<o:p></o:p></div>
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What do they know?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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Sometimes, </div>
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All you have to
do is begin,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Be the first,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Be the only,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dream your reality,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Use it as your blueprint,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Map your desire,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fuel your mind with your intent,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hell bent,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Drive through the barrier in your mind and push,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Breakout of this man made restriction,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enforce your own eviction,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Populate your place with positivity,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Purposefully, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>Prosaically,</o:p></div>
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<o:p>And </o:p>perfectly unique in your own way<o:p></o:p>.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Sometimes, </div>
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All you have to do is begin,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Empower yourself, <o:p></o:p></div>
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Destroy the negative with your positive idea and let it
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The right moments,</div>
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<br />
<br />
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Sometimes, </div>
All
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</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Strong desire, <o:p></o:p></div>
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Passionate belief,<o:p></o:p></div>
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You are truly free,<o:p></o:p></div>
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For sometimes, <o:p></o:p></div>
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All you have to do is begin.<o:p></o:p></div>
phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-89574252930651233002014-12-22T01:34:00.001-08:002014-12-22T01:34:10.641-08:00As the clouds part...<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CUP7730%7E1.REG%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the clouds part, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It becomes clear,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my mind as much as the sky,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That for the longest of time, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She never loved,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She never was true.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the clouds part,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like the thoughts of yesterday,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Moving away from today, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am able to see the truth,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it is blinding in it’s painful beauty,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The divided mind now whole,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The lies she told,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Belittled my very soul,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Abused my honour as I had chosen care,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over love,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Much to my shame,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or my credit,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Am I to blame…?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the clouds part, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like the pain in my heart... lifting,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I smile at the possibilities, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ripe and ready for the picking,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tasting, holding and keeping,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The world has a touch of shine to it,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like the first light breaking across the sky,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realise that it is I<o:p></o:p> who owns my life and for the first time,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel the power surge through my body,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting stronger with every decision I make,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am open to the world and the world is open to me, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trusting my gut and fighting like Ali,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The greatest, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Feeling like a lion in my prime,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dedicated, motivated and disciplined,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All at once and right now,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am living.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the clouds part, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like a twist on the throttle,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sky rushes to meet me,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Greets me like an open fire on winters day,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The familiar warmth returning to me,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remembering the past does me no good, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Realising how it should be,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Myself finding me,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hello again, my old friend, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s time to go,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And go, and go, and go, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For once, thankful that I am alive,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That I have chosen eventually to honour myself, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not live in the historical dream of tradition,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is time to dance with the wind, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am ready.<o:p></o:p></div>
phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-45682260553369783932014-12-16T06:14:00.001-08:002014-12-22T01:08:33.758-08:00This is how it is.<span style="color: white;">It is such a drag, </span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The monotonous mirroring masquerading as most people mostly,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The puddle like depths they struggle to stoop to, </span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The freaklike feelings I get when I realise,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">That this is how it is.</span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: white;">It is such a drag, </span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The womb I lost for this,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">My pointless pondering that proudly presents itself to deaf ears,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">Ears that are closed, never to be open, </span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The slow learning, </span><br />
<span style="color: white;">That this is how it is.</span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: white;">It is such a drag,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">That the sun is gone in winter, </span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The mild mannered moon masked by clouds,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The dirty salt smultch splattering my car, </span><br />
<span style="color: white;">The refusal to remember at this time of year,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">That this is how it is.</span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: white;">It is such a drag,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">That we are destined to scream out blindly,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">Our relentless ranting, raging in denile of it's actual regurgitation,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">And our dull lives condemnded to exile,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">By our dim witted others and the death sentence,</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">That this is how it is. </span>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-90709802972747339082012-04-10T15:21:00.000-07:002012-04-10T15:21:14.902-07:00One Day Is Your Life (In Memory of Joe Lee Wilson)<u></u>“One day is your life,<br />
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Night and day, </div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
One day is your whole life”</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
The first words I heard him say,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
His voice smooth and warming,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Like honey with a drop of whiskey.</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Those soaring velvet curves that shaped the air,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
His spirit deep and comforting,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Living and delivering it to us,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Within us,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
The elder chanter,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
The soul of Jazz.</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
The breathing of magic,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Through the lines of his home,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Soaring and bold,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
The earthen cry of a man in the
moment, </div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Much more than one day we say,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
His humour not lost in time,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Or his good nature, love and care,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
But now in this moment,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
This fleeting moment,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Holding on to him,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
This moment is all we have,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
As we remember him,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Cherished and inspired,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Joe Lee,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Joe Lee,</div>
<div class="ecxyiv1981180615MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Joe Lee.</div>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-90979778343413394142011-09-04T22:59:00.000-07:002011-09-04T23:00:12.578-07:00Monday?<div>Unhappy dawn,</div><div>Morning yawn,</div><div>Perpetual motion machine madness,</div><div>A delicate balance divided,</div><div>Relentless shame succumbing to the crowd,</div><div>They all wear the same sadness.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>The gentle moon sails into the night of yesterday,</div><div>While they crawl from their pits to ignore today,</div><div>Like sitcom reruns,</div><div>Devoid of surprises,</div><div>The automated Monday we are forced to believe,</div><div>This alien & man made idea,</div><div>The names we condemn our days to,</div><div>Lies to our intuition,</div><div>Like droids we believe this has happened before,</div><div>The self-fulfilling prophecy,</div><div>That Monday thing. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>These seven days each have a life,</div><div>We have led ourselves to believe,</div><div>Monday, Wednesday, Friday,</div><div>Each one jumps out with a vibe of it's own,</div><div>But we made these,</div><div>Each second is new,</div><div>Never before seen,</div><div>Don't demand this conformity of me,</div><div>Don't make me believe in this is 'Monday',</div><div>It's a new day,</div><div>Fresh and true,</div><div>But they accept no other way,</div><div>You must behave and belong,</div><div>There is no choice,</div><div>It only works like this,</div><div>The boxes our little minds need to believe exist,</div><div>And we loose more than we know,</div><div>As the days just go,</div><div>Short changed,</div><div>Deranged and alone,</div><div>I want to say no,</div><div>Today is mine,</div><div>New and bold,</div><div>Untold,</div><div>Unknown,</div><div>We just don't know,</div><div>That reality is new and continues to be born,</div><div>In us and for us,</div><div>but we live in cycles,</div><div>Conform to the synthetic reality,</div><div>And allow ourselves to be told,</div><div>This is Monday again,</div><div>Again and again,</div><div>Well is it?</div><div>
<br /></div>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-40613653235607308542011-09-03T16:09:00.000-07:002011-09-03T16:10:21.785-07:00In The Garden...Here, here, here, here...
<br />It bounces and slides off the massive parasol in my garden,
<br />Above me so sullen,
<br />I Inhale the toxic fumes I once quit,
<br />That alcohol revives in me,
<br />Hey, hey, hey,hey,
<br />It says as it descends and lands,
<br />The darkness like a blight of my eyes,
<br />Enshrouds the scenery around me.
<br />
<br />I don't know what it is I feel,
<br />Whilst witnessing this natural late night scene,
<br />But something in me feels desperate,
<br />Tap, tap, tappety, tap, tap,
<br />It gets louder above,
<br />And I shrug,
<br />Breathe deep,
<br />No sleep,
<br />But wonder for why,
<br />Again and again why,
<br />The still garden stuck in it's place,
<br />No movement except what nature displaces,
<br />And the rouge in the heavens feels warm to me,
<br />The trees lean to,
<br />And I sink into this ikea made chair,
<br />Further still.
<br />
<br />The house beyond my wall has darkness,
<br />That contributes to this stillness,
<br />And I feel as of nothing and yet everything is here.
<br />
<br />Suddenly,
<br />I realise that nothing should mean all kinds of thoughts,
<br />And it does,
<br />As my mind races,
<br />And my youth dissipates,
<br />It's quiet death becoming one with all this around me,
<br />I know it's worthless,
<br />At least for now,
<br />Until the song comes and makes it right again,
<br />For if I sing of this,
<br />It brings hope,
<br />This pointless, yet passionate view,
<br />Becomes something deep and real,
<br />Unto you.
<br />phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-8151162262093193862011-09-02T23:24:00.000-07:002011-09-02T23:25:02.358-07:00Dictationt rolls down the window like bees on honeycomb,
<br />The rain dancing around the glass,
<br />It's natural drumming comforting in it's beat.
<br />
<br />The grey beyond the swarm, distorted by the gathering,
<br />The sudden intensity driven by the wind to a crescendo,
<br />A song in itself.
<br />
<br />The warmth of my old leather chair and it's familiar hug,
<br />My tea, comforting in it's sweet and tasty slide,
<br />And I still demand more.
<br />
<br />Sometimes, the tiniest of exquisite divinity,
<br />Is lost in this greed fueled, media driven insanity,
<br />People riot to acquire what the glowing box tells them they need,
<br />This domain of wealth pursuit,
<br />Never enough,
<br />More and more,
<br />Bigger and better than your friends,
<br />It never ends,
<br />You'll never be on top.
<br />
<br />There will always be something more they say you need,
<br />The experts planting the seed you never knew was growing,
<br />Subliminal programming in full effect,
<br />Driving your desires to stretch beyond natural reach,
<br />Living beyond your means,
<br />Ripping the fabric of your natural beauty at the seams.
<br />
<br />Each and every day,
<br />Filled to bursting with commands to buy,
<br />To acquire,
<br />Knee-jerk reactions to call up and get,
<br />To fill your home with the pointless tat,
<br />So much out there for free,
<br />But we are never left to just be,
<br />Our beauty drowning in insecurity,
<br />Thanks be to our glossy airbrushed magazines,
<br />The deathly thin skeletal skin and bone clothed horses,
<br />Staring out at us in alleged bliss,
<br />The sweatshop, third world country, penny a day created 'magnificence' shrouding their society craved backs,
<br />The fuel to our desire,
<br />Our pre-programmed needs on fire,
<br />No-one is immune.
<br />
<br />The swarm slows to a gentle patter,
<br />and the grey gives out to a subtle white in parts,
<br />The burning ball of life shining through.
<br />
<br />The array of colours decorating the sky like an arc of silk,
<br />It cost nothing but time and awareness,
<br />Rain and sun,
<br />I drink my tea and turn away.
<br />phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-71105184904993684832011-09-01T23:12:00.000-07:002011-09-01T23:13:07.508-07:00Madness In The EightiesShe smiles and I float,
<br />She frowns and I fall,
<br />Her brow furrows and I question myself,
<br />Her questions ask me why and I worry deeply,
<br />She once thought she was a healer,
<br />Walked barefoot twelve miles,
<br />'curing' people along the way,
<br />Her feet,
<br />bloody and dirty by the time she reached her destination,
<br />People glancing,
<br />Internal questions,
<br />Societal English stiff upper lip,
<br />No-one asked,
<br />She claimed to be magical,
<br />She said I was the son of god,
<br />That there were demons all around us,
<br />That there were assassins waiting to shoot me,
<br />Hiding around each and every corner,
<br />In a way, she was right,
<br />Her beautiful long black mane like silky strands of angel hair,
<br />Her eyes like emeralds,
<br />But her stare manic,
<br />Quick like a hungry protective fox in the madness of a hunt,
<br />She was dragged from our door,
<br />Trying to protect me as I hid upstairs,
<br />Her voice, wild and crazy,
<br />Screaming through her tears,
<br />Her anger sent her arms flailing,
<br />The policeman lost his hat to a right hook,
<br />Then,
<br />From my hiding place,
<br />I continued to watch as she was taken,
<br />Feet dragging on the cold, dirty pavement,
<br />Shoeless,
<br />Bloody again,
<br />The policeman's arms around her neck,
<br />Dragging her backwards and away from me,
<br />The screams fading until nothing,
<br />But the Birds chirping,
<br />a dog barking in the distance,
<br />My tears silent then popping as they land on my comic,
<br />Alone in the house,
<br />They'd forgotten me,
<br />Cavelike and vast,
<br />Dark and alone.
<br />
<br />The hospital visits,
<br />The walking dead,
<br />Shuffling and dribbling,
<br />Once proud and well kept,
<br />Once a beautiful lioness,
<br />Strong, tall, happy, protective, adored,
<br />Now lost, rambling, zombified, forgotten, drugged,
<br />The outbursts resolved with needles,
<br />Male 'nurses' wrestling her to the floor,
<br />Like a crazy game of rugby,
<br />Slamming her to the deck with a sickening thump,
<br />Her nightie sailing above her head whilst she struggles,
<br />There on the linoleum,
<br />Her nakedness for all the visitors to see,
<br />My eleven year old mind trying to take in this awful sight,
<br />Burnt into my mind,
<br />The needles stabbing her like nails,
<br />The screams, the tears, the shock, the quiet sniffle,
<br />The slowing down of her resistance,
<br />Lock a clockwork doll,
<br />Running out,
<br />Winding down,
<br />Then dragged off,
<br />No excuses,
<br />Just time to leave,
<br />No apologies,
<br />Madness does this,
<br />No questions,
<br />No answers except one,
<br />Madness.
<br />
<br />The children's home,
<br />No mother to call,
<br />No father to know,
<br />No hugs for bedtime,
<br />No tears to show,
<br />The man-boy I became,
<br />Chest out,
<br />Eleven and tough,
<br />Skin like armour,
<br />Titanium,
<br />Impenetrable,
<br />But vulnerable,
<br />Tears only a conversation away,
<br />The older girl,
<br />Opening up on her lap,
<br />Her warm bosom surrounding me,
<br />Sealing me off from the madness,
<br />Then away and cold.
<br />Some days good some days bad,
<br />Too many lessons learnt early,
<br />The magic of my mind tainted by the cruelty of this life,
<br />This strange and painful world of extremes,
<br />Feelings like a violent arctic ocean,
<br />Powerless and thrown around like a rag doll in it's surge.
<br />I pushed on.
<br />
<br />This world has a beauty behind all pain,
<br />But my mother was never the same again,
<br />No father to pick up the pieces,
<br />No brother or sister to turn to,
<br />Your hope and love is your saviour,
<br />Your words and books your life raft.
<br />
<br />The mind can snap in silence,
<br />This world can turn quickly,
<br />Remember your duty to love,
<br />Don't forget inside every action is a child,
<br />Wanting to love,
<br />To be loved,
<br />Behind every cruel word,
<br />There's insecurity and a longing for understanding,
<br />In every bad moment of your life,
<br />There's a divine notion and a tenderness of nature's hand,
<br />A lesson to learn and a compassion to grow,
<br />Never cry for the bad moments,
<br />Turn them into teachers,
<br />Soar above the negative like a bird from the flame,
<br />And fly in all your splendour,
<br />Burst across the sky in your righteous love,
<br />For all to see and share,
<br />Love your lot and question not,
<br />Open your mind and love,
<br />For there's a beauty in every single part,
<br />Share it.
<br />phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-86795468280544304712011-08-31T23:41:00.001-07:002011-08-31T23:43:26.866-07:00SussexSmell of salty air,
<br />Pebbles, shingle underfoot,
<br />The hazy horizon and sunlight winking at me on the water,
<br />Delicate people sailing past,
<br />Bikes, skates and boards,
<br />Pushchairs, toddlers and grandpa's,
<br />The short drive from work,
<br />Breeze that blows the day from my mind,
<br />The difference in people,
<br />Willingness to understand and appreciate,
<br />The funny accents,
<br />The unexpectedly deep conversations,
<br />The friends I'd gathered,
<br />The warm hugs,
<br />The gentle kiss of familiar faces,
<br />The football banter,
<br />The rare northern pride,
<br />The walks along the coast,
<br />The walks upon the downs,
<br />The view down to the sea from the hills,
<br />The flying stag beetles and crazy insects,
<br />The sweet and clean air,
<br />The sun setting in a tangerine sky,
<br />The pier where my father's ashes flew,
<br />I miss the south coast that once was my home.
<br />I feel you in my mind and will never forget your embrace,
<br />My own space and time on the English coast,
<br />I long for your peace.phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-21055059311280919452011-08-30T23:17:00.001-07:002011-08-30T23:17:50.733-07:00I Looked UpStumbling home from the pub,
<br />I made the mistake once and looked up,
<br />the heavens in the sky,
<br />Stars and comets,
<br />Each one so amazing in it's individuality,
<br />The mist of the Milky Way,
<br />I'd never seen the sky so vast,
<br />So truly unique and it struck me,
<br />How we are blatantly not the only thing that's here,
<br />You see, I grew up in a tough, small town,
<br />Built for the overspill, the overcrowded city of Liverpool,
<br />The people that surrounded me in my youth,
<br />They were tough people,
<br />It was hard to express yourself unless through aggression, or through sport, or through shared music,
<br />I never looked up, not at night,
<br />Even if by chance,
<br />I happened to glance,
<br />The streetlights would shine pink on the sky,
<br />I'd see the vague shimmer of the usual,
<br />Big dipper or the little pan,
<br />Nothing spectacular,
<br />Just dots in the sky,
<br />Shapes that meant nothing to me,
<br />But on that cold winters night 10 years ago,
<br />Walking back to my place of sleep,
<br />I looked up,
<br />I was with my friend Daffyd,
<br />His brother and his fiancé,
<br />I was not in my usual place,
<br />I was in Llanbedrog, Wales,
<br />I looked up,
<br />I stumbled in the tractor tracks we were walking in,
<br />I fell on my arse,
<br />Daffyd and the others laughed but I just lay back in the mud,
<br />I couldn't believe my eyes as I looked up,
<br />Daffyd lived on a farm,
<br />He told me the first time i asked about it that it was a field and a house,
<br />He was frighteningly modest, a true reflection on his character,
<br />He was a gentleman,
<br />His family farm was huge,
<br />Acres and acres,
<br />We'd been out to watch the rugby at the pub,
<br />His local pub,
<br />Full of Welsh people,
<br />Beautiful and happy,
<br />As I lay there in the mud,
<br />The chorus of laughing around me like seagulls chasing a morsel, frantic and manic,
<br />I looked up,
<br />I saw so much magic,
<br />I couldn't take it in,
<br />"How long as that been there?"
<br />I mumbled in the mud,
<br />Llanbedrog is as small as a hamlet can get,
<br />Not even a street,
<br />No street lights,
<br />No light pollution,
<br />Heavens on display for any that choose to see,
<br />I lay there in the mud not wanting to get up,
<br />I looked up.
<br />Daffyd and his brother helped me to my feet,
<br />I couldn't walk properly,
<br />I looked up,
<br />I stumbled and slipped, slopped and slided,
<br />Safe in the arms of my friends who now thought me more drunk than I was and proceeded to walk me onward,
<br />Arm in arm in arm,
<br />I looked up and wanted to burn this beautiful sky in my mind,
<br />I realised it was always there,
<br />This history on show,
<br />Each and every night,
<br />This unreal sci-fi scene,
<br />This space of magic that has always been surrounding our ball of madness,
<br />It's rare that I look up these days,
<br />I live in another small town,
<br />For some reason though,
<br />This morning in bed,
<br />Putting off my rise,
<br />I remembered that time,
<br />Wallowing blissful in the mud,
<br />That day in Wales,
<br />In awe,
<br />When I looked up. phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-73748875838789216892011-08-29T23:19:00.001-07:002011-08-29T23:19:43.848-07:00To Run With The NightTO RUN WITH THE NIGHT
<br />
<br />My eyes try to open,
<br />Stuck lightly with sleep,
<br />The slumberland hug of warmth and safety,
<br />Just too nice to leave.
<br />
<br />The alarm reminds me of too much,
<br />That I am a slave with perks,
<br />I work for others where the only benefit is money,
<br />My true work is without pay but with sprinkles of light,
<br />That my time is not my own,
<br />And that my time itself is getting shorter,
<br />It will be too late.
<br />
<br />My sleepy hand reaches over,
<br />I click off the noise and feel the embrace of my bed,
<br />Today should be full of adventure,
<br />I should be free to run through the fields,
<br />To walk hills and mountains,
<br />My dog by my side,
<br />The sun smiling down on my grateful face,
<br />But no,
<br />I must force my feet out into the cold space,
<br />My body now on auto-pilot.
<br />
<br />The working day, like some kind of sadistic jester,
<br />Pulls me towards it with no chance of escape.
<br />
<br />I brush my teeth slow and sure,
<br />My mind still clinging to the remains of the weekend,
<br />Almost pretending I'm not awake,
<br />The shower,
<br />Thundering, soothing but commanded by my day,
<br />The towel, a cruel reminder of my womblike dream carriage,
<br />My clothes dictated by my day,
<br />Not my choice, no tie around my neck like a rope would I choose,
<br />No ridiculous plain White, sterile and soulless shirt would adorn my back under any other circumstances.
<br />
<br />I head downstairs and force down breakfast,
<br />My lunch of convenience stuffed into a bag,
<br />Such sophistication,
<br />These sandwiches sat underneath my books.
<br />
<br />My only lights are lunchtime with my books,
<br />Eating second to the reading,
<br />Writing should my soul pop up,
<br />And 5pm when I head home.
<br />
<br />I only hope the day does not take my strength like it usually does,
<br />And leave me too tired to do my real work.
<br />
<br />Instead,
<br />Haunted by the glowing box in the corner,
<br />Visions of corporate dictation,
<br />Tv suicide,
<br />Slow and unintentional,
<br />Easy and entertaining,
<br />Until I step into my dream carriage,
<br />And head off into my only truly free space,
<br />My soulful chatter,
<br />To run with the night.
<br />phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-67725387145235556892011-08-25T23:01:00.000-07:002011-08-25T23:04:07.031-07:00Blinkers are good...sometimes.Blinkers are good...sometimes.
<br />
<br />I think I feel different,
<br />Or at least different to most,
<br />Or is it that I give weight to that which most don't?
<br />I don't mean that how it sounds,
<br />I just mean that the average Joe,
<br />Doesn't know or blatantly suffers in silence,
<br />Gives themselves no chance to believe anything,
<br />Other than the monotony,
<br />The magicless,
<br />The clear facts.
<br />
<br />Today,
<br />I spoke to someone in public,
<br />About the beauty of the inner self being at one with the outer self,
<br />In retrospect I laugh,
<br />However,
<br />I became aware of standard ears and raised eyebrows,
<br />There disapproval almost tangible in it's weighty stare,
<br />Their uncomfortable shifts in their chair,
<br />It somehow pushed my words quicker out of my all-too-aware mouth,
<br />The recipient, equally buoyed but unaware of the disapproval nearby,
<br />Maybe I care too much,
<br />Then again, I think it's cruel to shatter any illusion,
<br />Blinkers are good if the truth is too much to carry,
<br />If your life is too far down someone else's line to pull back, the truth, "my truth" would be too much to carry.
<br />Or at least the truth I've found that's right for me,
<br /> and that seems to harmonise with some others I've met along my way.
<br />
<br />The meeting of minds ended and the polite discourse of goodbye resolved the moment as it usually does,
<br />I shuffled papers and moved onto my usual business,
<br />The disapproval was left there,
<br />Scratching his head,
<br />I had to laugh and went onto my next thing with a smile,
<br />Maybe one day he'll ask me,
<br />It won't matter though, you don't find your truth unless you are ready, or rather,
<br />your truth will find you when you want and need to find it. You could fall over your truth but ignore it if you are not looking for it as I did,
<br />One day, the weight of the world will force your mind to react in a way you never expected my friend,
<br />Then you might smile as I do,
<br />Content In the knowledge,
<br />I may be who I may be but my feelings are my own.
<br />
<br />My day seems a little brighter,
<br />I'm glad the sun can shine indoors sometimes...phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-26525601399900595272011-08-17T08:08:00.000-07:002011-08-17T08:42:58.435-07:00Tears shine in the daylightHe moves as if through water,
<br />His feet dragging invisibile chains,
<br />His head bowed in solemn, quiet contemplation,
<br />He stops and turns towards the handrail,
<br />His long coat flapping wildly in the breeze like a broken umbrella,
<br />His face acknowledges the sea like an old friend,
<br />The Sea rushing to greet him then falling away as if tired,
<br />His hand wipes a single tear from his cheek,
<br />A quick glance to confirm what he already knows,
<br />He is alone.
<br />
<br />His memory drifts back to times of old,
<br />Friends running and dancing in the surf,
<br />As if the only people in the world,
<br />The laughter,
<br />The Sunshine,
<br />The happy, beautiful and warm memories that haunt him,
<br />And his hand reaches again.
<br />
<br />This beautiful pain,
<br />This silent anquish,
<br />This heavy weight that he must carry,
<br />The face in his mind,
<br />Smiling and fading,
<br />Waving goodbye,
<br />Then suddenly laughing as moments sail through his mind,
<br />The joy suddenly twisted and crushed in brutal realisation,
<br />As his face turns again to the cold, wet tarmac pavement,
<br />His hands both covering his red and wet eyes.
<br />
<br />There are no surpises,
<br />His hands now gripping the rail tight,
<br />No shocks,
<br />No mock disappointment,
<br />The man admits to himself his failings,
<br />His faults,
<br />His lack of conviction,
<br />His soul trapped in the prison of his past,
<br />Screaming to the future in blind panic,
<br />But obligation dulls the sound and the man knows his fate,
<br />His dreams broken in his self-fullfilling prophecy,
<br />His face rises, now unthinking,
<br />No longer concerned with others thoughts,
<br />He claims the rail and joins his old friend,
<br />The surge engulfs him as if on queue,
<br />with a sharp and high swell of foam,
<br />And a powerful rip of the tide,
<br />The old man becomes the sea.
<br /> phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-46916640017700023602011-08-12T16:23:00.000-07:002011-08-12T16:24:12.737-07:00It's past...Beautiful opportunity
<br />Lost in standard retort
<br />Unknown potential unrealised
<br />
<br />The dance of standard greeting
<br />Hides true intention
<br />The sorry loss of familiar concepts affecting the reality of the situation
<br />
<br />Damn shame how we just bumble on without worrying there and then
<br />
<br />Without knowing it's now not then,
<br />But it will be then and not now,
<br />And we will be there and not here,
<br />Demanding compensation from our ego that set us up for the fall,
<br />And made no attempt to save us from ourselves,
<br />and the beautiful dream walks away,
<br />into yesterday,
<br />With now way of knowing if it could of been,
<br />Or if it would of been like it felt it could of been then,
<br />It's gone on without you,
<br />Without hope of recapture,
<br />It's over,
<br />And the night draws you away... And on...phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-65406340810576160332011-04-27T09:18:00.000-07:002011-04-27T09:29:56.589-07:00NowIt's flowing,<br><br />Rushing through us like an electric current,<br><br />It's power sometimes evident in tingles, in feelings,<br><br />Let us not forget that we live.<br><br />Let us not allow the awe we experienced as children dampen,<br><br />Drop the synthetic, mature attachment,<br><br />The mundane compulsion to be underwhelmed,<br><br />Let us remember every waking moment that we live,<br><br />The wonder is still there beneath the surface,<br><br />Hear everything in full,<br><br />Feel everything with all that you are,<br><br />Watch with eyes wide open and embrace what you used to consider normal.<br><br /><br><br />Every moment has magic,<br><br />The words magically appearing as you type,<br><br />Clouds floating by like swans,<br><br />Sunshine on your face creating warmth,<br><br />A warmth that has travelled millions of miles to reach your face,<br><br />Do not forget the beauty, the love, the life, the moment,<br><br />Embrace it and don't let society convince you that tomorrow is better,<br><br />New is better,<br><br />More is better,<br><br />It is a lie,<br><br />Now, here, this second, this is where we live,<br><br />Don't fall back into the dark,<br><br />Be alive in each second,<br><br />Be you,<br><br />Love and be loved,<br><br />Smile and share it,<br><br />You are here,<br><br />Know it, don't just say it,<br><br />Experience every second,<br><br />Remove the chance to regret,<br />This is your chance,<br><br />Take it.<br>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-49390889488547568692011-04-07T02:26:00.000-07:002011-04-07T03:42:57.300-07:00Shhhhhh!Fat old man baking like a plucked and stuffed bird, basted and oven bound, Laid back and english in this mild sun. <br><br>The shingle "Shhhhhhhhh!" like a young and fresh librarian. </br></br>My blanket out of place, green tartan as it is, laid out and comfortable. <br><br>My book untouched, hyponotised by the waves as I am and why not These days pass in a blur so let me enjoy this haze as it dances on the water </br></br>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-75427843093447781092011-03-29T03:46:00.000-07:002011-03-29T04:25:07.985-07:00The Crunch ChorusThe hall was dimly lit and had an air of comfort about it, The velvet drapes, Ruffled and dusty like auntie Jean's cushions back in the day. I sit alone. The crunching around me is a chorus of it's own, Punctuated with couple's laughter here and there and for some reason, It irks me although I really should expect it and be used to it in this place. The awkward chit-chat before I entered this place, The 'Yeah I need to grow another hand' titter titter small talk, The balancing act of three items and only two hands, The single american man also taking the brave step of making this night alone. Trying to be polite in the mute acknowledgement. The place is one more suited to dating couples, Like some kind of step up from car seat fumbles, Riverside embraces, Maybe that is why I feel so alien, As if a light is above my head, A neon sign saying 'Look at me, I am alone here'. I shouldn't care but I do. The crunching chorus continues, Now growing louder and I pray for interuption, I hope for some kind of break, The crunching is getting like manic horror film laughter and I find that I am joining in now, I am suddenly aware how quickly my Jaw is moving, My crunch seems to be obvious and louder still, My own unwanted crunch Aria!!! Suddenly, The place smashes into light and we are no longer in our world like a high speed car crash into some Hollywood hills, We are taken up and into the silver screen. The music of the prelude is a welcome, deafening snap and I thank their God for it's banality, My popcorn now cast aside, Nerves no longer need soothing with the crunch, I just hope the flick is one that takes me off. It does. I forget I am alone in this traditonal place of beginners luck. I am there for the film and the film is there for me as it takes me off into it's dream and I relax, Slipping into that familiar grip of escapism masquerading as entertainment. I am grateful & willing. Hail to the screen! I do not mourn these moments passing, I don't even see them leave, I am away in the waking dream, Ignorant, blissful and beautifully immune... Halleluliah!phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-23133323673136477302011-03-15T03:56:00.000-07:002011-03-15T04:03:05.719-07:00Feeling Spring?The sun shines so my lunch hour just gets better. Can't beat sitting by the sea under a clear blue sky on the south coast. It really is a big part of the reason I moved down to Hove. That and the music scene is just buzzing. People seem to want acoustic music and actually listen when you play. That in itself is so inspiring. Sometimes, you can bury all sorts in your song, safe in the knowledge that most people will not actually listen to your lyrics. None of that here. People coming up to me after a show and actually quoting my words back to me... Man! That is quality. People actually understanding that I am not just playing a track, not just entertaining but actually getting a point accross.<br /><br />Anyway, my trip to the states is looming and I am working towards that in a very disciplined and dedicated way. Gonna be insane...phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-87027968268294980532011-03-12T06:22:00.000-08:002011-03-12T06:23:31.483-08:00Uneventful?The uneventful last few days have resulted in this rather dull post...phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-75942521121093386542011-03-08T17:00:00.001-08:002011-03-08T17:03:47.592-08:00The Blizzard Of Instruction...<p>Another valid attempt at creation falls short...before it begins<br />So I stare<br />out of the window and see still<br />Trees<br />no dance of the breeze just the odd sway<br />no sun<br />just clouds and the reflection of my light on the window</p> <p>A thought moves my mind to other pastures<br />Days I lay in the sun<br />clinging to my dream of freedom while<br />surrounded by mans failures<br />mans pathetic attempt at creating communities...<br />As the sky above me floats by like a feather<br />but never falling<br />never repeating<br />It seems i am the only one who sees the sky today<br />What horrible lives we suffer<br />lost in the blizzard of instruction<br />programmed<br />to continue on the path<br />Believing the capitalist dream and discovering<br />the nightmare<br />one by one<br />we will realise its a joke<br />a very bad & cruel joke that just keeps on getting played<br />and i am here<br />looking at that same sky while others sleep<br />little wonder<br />my creation<br />falls short<br />tonight</p>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-44760581127232111652011-03-05T07:04:00.000-08:002011-03-05T07:04:44.368-08:00These Things We Give Names<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/G0Do2T4DaZY?fs=1" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="295"></iframe>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-85514918918871660942011-03-05T06:14:00.000-08:002011-03-05T06:17:47.482-08:00Honky Tonk? No, it just needs tuning...Just wrote this on my old 1930's Burling & Mansfield upright. Yeah, she is in need of a little tune but I think its got character (!). It's called 'These Things We Give Names. You can find the video of it by going <a href="http://www.youtube.com/brandonleewebb">here</a> (from about 3pm UK time today after it uploads), Lyrics are as follows...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">These Things We Give Names.</span><br /><br />It's one thing to know,<br />Just how you feel,<br />& another to work out,<br />Which way is up.<br /><br />It's one thing to know,<br />How to say your name,<br />& another to find your way,<br />out of here.<br /><br />All these things we give names,<br />& crown our mistakes like kings,<br />& Ignore what we feel & sigh.<br /><br />It's one thing just to know,<br />Without ever tasting it,<br />& another to choke,<br />On your heart as you're living it.<br /><br />So forgive me if I seem,<br />Seem a little vague,<br />But it's hard to speak out,<br />When society crowns it's shame.<br /><br />Al these things we give names,<br />& crown our mistakes like kings,<br />We dance as though we know,<br />How to live and breathe and grow,<br />But our shoelaces are tied,<br />& our flaw is living blind,<br />& Ignoring what we feel...<br /><br />Our arrogance,<br />knows no bounds,<br />We think we know,<br />We think we've found out.<br />But ignore what we feel inside.phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6709455784284523453.post-14118761585602962882011-03-04T16:50:00.000-08:002011-03-04T17:04:33.880-08:00Vertical Ascent<span style="font-weight: bold;">Vertical Ascent</span><br /><br />Vertical ascent,<br />Widow's Lament,<br />A dying cold Shoulder,<br />On a mountain of obsession.<br /><br />Rivers of blinkered Goretex,<br />& duck down shrouds,<br />Masks like ape's mouths,<br />Set in stone,<br />Cast no doubt,<br />Still onward,<br />Upward, no reprieve,<br />No outpouring of emotion,<br />Just continual, controlled, laboured speed,<br />Until the pinnacle is crushed,<br />& the descent comes gold,<br /><br />The dying cold shoulder,<br />Now shrouded in snow,<br />As the self- centered, some say brave,<br />Lower themselves by will,<br />While base brings emotions,<br />& powerful lament,<br />Hastely veiled reason,<br />To hell and down again,<br />All shielded vision around,<br />Leaving humanity mistaken,<br />About this,<br />Vertical ascent,<br />& mankind left struggling,<br />To understand the moral code,<br />Of those who choose this worlds ceiling,<br />Over all other goals.<br /><br />Mixed emotions in disguise,<br />Of truth, hope, bravery & pride,<br />But who will ever know,<br />The beauty of the night,<br />In Vertical ascent,<br />Beneath the heavens on show,<br />No wonder pride blinds,<br />No wonder people try,<br />No wonder without trying,<br />No wonder in dying.<br />No wonder without,<br />The beauty of the morning,<br />Within this Vertical Ascent.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">in loving memory of all those who have lost their lives, witnessed the loss of life & summitted, in the name of achievement.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span>phantomscribeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18192365087126836961noreply@blogger.com0